the hen and the oriole
i met a toad the other day by the name of warty bliggens he was sitting under a toadstool feeling contented he explained that when the cosmos was created that toadstool was especially planned for his personal shelter from sun and rain thought out and prepared for him do not tell me said warty bliggens that there is not a purpose in the universe the thought is blasphemy a little more conversation revealed that warty bliggens considers himself to be the centre of the said universe the earth exists to grow toadstools for him to sit under the sun to give him light by day and the moon and wheeling constellations to make beautiful the night for the sake of warty bliggens to what act of yours do you impute this interest on the part of the creator of the universe i asked him why is it that you are so greatly favoured ask rather said warty bliggens what the universe has done to deserve me if i were a human being i would not laugh too complacently at poor warty bliggens for similar absurdities have only too often lodged in the crinkles of the human cerebrum archy
the hen and the oriole
well boss did it ever strike you that a hen regrets it just as much when they wring her neck as an oriole but nobody has any sympathy for a hen because she is not beautiful while everyone gets sentimental over the oriole and says how shocking to kill the lovely thing this thought comes to my mind because of the earnest endeavour of a gentleman to squash me yesterday afternoon when i was riding up in the elevator if i had been a butterfly he would have said how did that beautiful thing happen to find its way into these grimy city streets do not harm the splendid creature but let it fly back to its rural haunts again beauty always gets the best of it be beautiful boss a thing of beauty is a joy forever be handsome boss and let who will be clever is the sad advice of your ugly little friend archy