(...Dick Schneider of Wisconsin...was elected "Greek God" for an interfraternity ball... - Life Magazine)

When I was born, my mother taped my ears
So they lay flat. When I had aged ten years,
My teeth were firmly braced and much improved.
Two years went by; my tonsils were removed.

At fourteen, I began to comb my hair
A fancy way. Though nothing much was there,
I shaved my upper lip - next year, my chin.
At seventeen, the freckles left my skin.

Just turned nineteen, a nicely moulded lad,
I said goodbye to Sis and Mother; Dad
Drove me to Wisconsin and set me loose.
At twenty-one, I was elected Zeus.